Oooh, ahhh, that’s how it always starts. Then later there’s running and screaming.

Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!

These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!

You maniacs! You blew it up! Oh, damn you! Damn you all to hell!

Klaatu barada nikto.

Monsters from the Id.

What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

We thought you was a toad!

Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

Yeah, well. The Dude abides.

Ray, if someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!

Do you know of the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in space.

No matter where you go, there you are.

Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we’re not back by dawn… call the president.

This is the way society functions. Aren’t you a part of society?

Greetings, programs!

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side, kid.

Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.

It’s a moral imperative.

Talk with your mouth full / bite the hand that feeds you / bite off more than you can chew / dare to be stupid

Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.

This episode was BADLY written!

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

With great power there must also come - great responsibility.

If you can’t take a little bloody nose, maybe you oughtta go back home and crawl under your bed. It’s not safe out here. It’s wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it’s not for the timid.

Five card stud, nothing wild. And the sky’s the limit

If you think that by threatening me you can get me to do what you want… Well, that’s where you’re right. But - and I am only saying that because I care - there’s a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market that are just as tasty as the real thing.

We’re all very different people. We’re not Watusi. We’re not Spartans. We’re Americans, with a capital ‘A’, huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We’re the underdog.

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

I’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE

Some days, you just can’t get rid of a bomb!

Bill, strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.

Alright, alright alright.

Never argue with the data.

Oooh right, it’s actually quite a funny story once you get past all the tragic elements and the over-riding sense of doom.

Spock. This child is about to wipe out every living thing on Earth. Now, what do you suggest we do….spank it

I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.

Three rings for the Elven kings under the sky, seven for the Dwarf lords in their halls of stone, nine for the mortal men doomed to die, one for the Dark Lord on his dark throne, in the land of Mordor where the shadows lie. One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring the bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

One man's wage rise is another man's price increase.

Other people's troubles are bearable.

Honest criticism is the highest praise.

Criticism is...always a kind of compliment.

He who forgets the language of gratitude can never be on speaking terms with happiness.

As bread is the staff of life, the simple sustenance of the body, so appreciation is the food of the soul.